Chuck Norris: Back Atcha!

Actor Chuck Norris has decided to respond to the Mitt Romney ad which I discussed previously here. Among other things, Norris writes (in a World Net Daily piece that can be read in its entirety here):

Mitt, of course, never mentions that as governor he had only 100 requests for commutations and 172 for pardons. What Mitt also never discusses is that this 2003 Associated Press report is focused upon his "most noteworthy pardon denial: His rejection of the request of an Iraq war veteran who was trying to become a police officer after his National Guard service" (unlike Huckabee who enthusiastically supports our veterans through the "Veterans' Bill of Rights").

It's amazing to me that Romney even jabs at Huckabee's fight on crime, when Mike initiated a toll-free hotline to report tips on government corruption, has proven he's a passionate advocate of the Second Amendment gave permission 16 times for executions to proceed - more than any governor in the history of Arkansas.

... Now I can take a joke as good as the next guy – after all, it was Huck and I who introduced the humorous political parodies in this race. I almost wish that Romney's broadcasted roundhouse had a little more kick, but it (like his campaign) is simply falling flat in the ring. Even reviews disclaimed it as "all somewhat disjointed.

... The real problem with this Internet bit goes beyond the fact that it is a non-humorous marketing dud. It truly plummets political-commercial negativism into an abyssal low by maligning a candidate's supporter and deliberately distorting his words. The gravest grief in that now we know Mitt will pay millions in producing and airing 14,000 ads to even twist my words – and I'm not even running for president!

... So did Romney's Internet-transmitted roundhouse connect with Mike or me? While he tried to kick both of us, he ended up only creating a whiff of air by his bypassing foot, which propelled him spinning around like an inexperienced martial arts fighter and getting clocked by Huckabee's left hook in Iowa!

... Incidentally, Romney's ad ends with the narrator asking, "Chuck Norris, Mike Huckabee, now who deserves the roundhouse kick?" The ad answers the question by manipulating my photo, which delivers a blow to Huckabee's head with the cartoonish lettering "POW!" Of course my real response would be quite to the contrary. I think you can guess where my heel might land. POW!

There you have it. Romney has pardoned less people than Huckabee, but Huckabee has executed more people than Romney!