John Dean's Dumb Dreams

In a post over at Salon, John W. Dean has much to say about the Justice Department and George Bush's commutation of Scooter Libby's sentence. Dean, of course, is a registered "Independent" who supports the impeachment of President Bush. As the Justice Department's liaison with Congress and White House Counsel during the Nixon administration, Dean distinguished himself by driving a purple Porsch 911, heading up the lobbying effort for the stumbling, bumbling, failed nominations of Clement Haynsworth and G. Harrold Carswell to the Supreme Court and committing multiple felonies related to the Watergate scandal. Dean was sentenced to one to four years in prison but managed to serve only four months (no doubt because we have so much "equal justice under law").

In 2002, Dean put his high-profile and excellent mind to work by publishing an e-book on Salon.com. In it, he employed his research skills and much-valued personal connection to the Watergate scandal to solve the media mystery of the century: Who was "Deep Throat"? Dean narrowed the list of suspects to: Pat Buchanan, Ray Price, Steve Bull or Ron Ziegler. As a fall-back he also presented evidence that "Deep Throat" may have been Jonathan Rose. Every guess was wrong, the correct answer being W. Mark Felt, who was pardoned by Ronald Reagan.

But perhaps the most important thing to know about John W. Dean is this: while other Watergate figures (Libby, Martinez, etc.) have received presidential pardons, Dean has not. The irony is somewhat thick, as Time magazine once noted:

[Dean] worked out the legal basis for Nixon's impoundment of funds, broad use of pocket vetoes and Executive privilege. He also helped arrange Nixon's commutation of jail sentences being served by Teamster Boss Jimmy Hoffa (which was widely interpreted as a political gesture in return for Teamster support of Nixon in the election) and by Mafia Capo Angelo ("Gyp") DeCarlo.

In the Salon piece, Dean throws out the standard lines of pardon critics for 200 years ("what they are really arguing is that one of their own should not be punished criminally") and offers no real insight with respect to the case itself. But, then again, with his name recognition, he doesn't have to. He does, however, offer some slightly original whines with a doss of dissonance, poor instrumentation and voicing and minor keys.

Dean says, "Conservatives once claimed" that they stood for "law and order," and that "no person was above the law." I am not sure 1) who he is tagging as a "Conservatives" - and he is careful not to mention names 2) when exactly the "once" was or 3) when either "conservatives" or "liberals" ever claimed to take a contrary position. But, Dean says, "their words belie their true beliefs as expressed in their actions." That is to say, Dean disagreed with Bush's commutation. He does not, however, seem to recognize that the Probation Department shared the President's view, or he has clumsily missed a fairly easy target for his quaint, but most recent, end-of-the-world analysis.

Meanwhile, I am going to work on locating the good old days when "Conservatives" once "claimed" they stood for "law and order" and, at the same time, Mr. Dean's self-righteous radar was not offended. Was it during the Bush administration and the Iran Contra pardons? And where was the John Dean indignation chorus when Armand Hammer was pardoned? Was it during the Reagan administration, when George Steinbrenner was pardoned? Was it during the Ford administration, when Richard Nixon was let off the hook? Or, was it during the Nixon administration, when Dean was obstructing justice and supervising "hush money" payments to burglars? Just exactly what administration / decade is John Dean pining for anyway? And who in the world is willing to walk hand in hand with him back to his vision of Camelot?

But the real kicker has to be when Dean dons the cheerleader skirt and pom pom and says:

Frankly, I hoped that Bush would pardon Libby, as it would have served as a particularly egregious and conspicuous example of the Republican double standard -- the authoritarian's "do as I say, not as I do" mentality. Voters understand hypocrisy, and another solid abuse of process (and power) could only help the Democrats get back into the White House.

And there you have it. Dean is concerned about all of that "law and order" stuff. And who isn't? But he is primarily concerned about partisan politics and election outcomes. And what better stuff to drive a pardon decision? or, one's reaction to a pardon decision? John Dean: the "independent" who cheers for the Democrats, the convicted felon who cries out for law and order, the facilitator of shady commutations turned commutation critic, the man whose high name recognition and "insider" status could not translate into even moderately accurate prognostication, the Watergate star who has arrived on the scene to help clean up.